Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Colonoscopy diet

It's time for a colonoscopy, and I knew about the fast the day before the procedure, and the clean-out procedure, but I didn't know about the diet for the two days before the fast.

The brochure from the doctor's office explains that I'm not supposed to eat fruits, vegetables, whole grains or cereals. That pretty much cuts out everything I normally eat -- oatmeal and raisins for breakfast (forbidden), fruits as snacks (forbidden), protein (allowed) plus vegetables and whole grains for dinner (forbidden). The diet allows white rice and bread and pasta, but over the last few years, I've switched my pasta and breads to whole wheat and my rice to brown, so they're forbidden too. The whole diet is pretty much "avoid everything that's healthy."

I was complaining to a friend that there was nothing left that I was allowed to eat. She said that was her first reaction to the "diet," too, and then she had an inspiration. "Three words," she said. "Bacon double cheeseburger."

Yep. It's allowed (as long as there's no pickle, no onions, no ketchup and no whole-wheat bun, and definitely no healthy salad on the side).

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